It’s never easy when somebody ignores you intentionally. When people reject you, you feel an even greater need for their attention. It makes you feel miserable and depressed. Life seems to lose meaning. You find yourself constantly wondering about the cause of being disregarded. It takes you nowhere in life, and the quality of your life nosedives. Matters get even worse when someone overlooks you deliberately. It makes you feel insulted, unwanted, and unloved. In this blog, we will see what you can do when someone ignores you on purpose.
What ‘Ignore’ Means
Let’s be clear about what the word ‘ignore’ means. Simply put, when someone avoids you or overlooks your presence anywhere, they are ignoring you. It may happen in three possible ways.
People may refuse to notice your physical presence altogether. They may act as if they did not see you. They may also act busy to ‘miss’ your presence. Also, they may show that they got distracted and did not notice you.
People may avoid you while communicating within a group. They may pay heed to what others have to say. But as soon as you start speaking, they may turn away or start acting weirdly busy. They will also avoid making eye contact with you.
People may also avoid you on social media, text, email, or chat. They may not take the initiative to start conversations with you. They may brush aside your messages, calls, or video calls. Next, they may take too long to respond to your messages. Also, they may seem uninterested in replying or continuing the dialogue.
The above pointers that explain ‘ignore’ may also be used as signs of being neglected by someone. Hence, if any of it is happening to you, then you are being snubbed knowingly.
Having understood what ‘ignore’ means, next, let’s check out who possibly may shun you.
People Who May Ignore You
When someone ignores you on purpose, they can belong to three categories. These are people with personal, professional, or transactional relationships with you. Let’s try and understand them.
People With Professional or Transactional Relationships With You
People at the office or a store don’t may ignore you and give you a tough time or lead you to incur losses. But they don’t really matter to you. When such people bypass you, you are just bothered about minimizing your loss from the whole situation. You are not hurt by it or looking for a solution unless they are related or close to you in some way. So, we will jump straight to what matters.
People Having Personal Relationships With You
Your friends, family, and followers, matter to you. If they happen to exclude you, you will be concerned. But let’s be honest, they cannot ignore you. People who are close to us will either fight with us or love us. They cannot exclude us or they can’t do so for too long. Thus, we can safely move forward to the next category which is what we were looking for.
People With Sub-Personal Relationships With You
The next category of people who may ignore you is a sub-category of personal relationships. It includes the people whom you like but have not yet cemented your association with. It may be a crush or a friend on the way to becoming a good friend of yours. These are the people really, whom we are talking about when we talk about being omitted of the ignorer’s own volition. It’s because this is the category of people who are capable of doing so. And these are the very people who we are most worried about when it comes to being left out.
What should we do when they ignore us? We will see that in detail at a later point in the blog. Before that, let’s see some other aspects that you need to know.
Let’s check out why someone may ignore you on purpose?
There can be many possible reasons. Let’s explore them now.
Why Would Someone Ignore You On Purpose?
Nobody ignores somebody without any reason. So, what is the psychology behind ignoring someone? When someone turns a blind eye to you in a pre-planned way, there can be three broad reasons for it.
It’s Your Mistake
When someone ignores you on purpose, you may have annoyed them in some way, knowingly or unknowingly.
What can these mistakes be? Let’s see.
You Ignored Them First
Sometimes, we may get lost in our own world. We may ignore somebody and when they respond similarly, we wonder why they are ignoring us. It’s difficult to give importance to everyone in the world. But we should not set aside people who matter to us. Else, when they start ignoring us, we will find ourselves wanting.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, you may have ignored them first.
You Didn’t Meet Their Reasonable Expectations
People have expectations from us. Some may be genuine, others, unjustified. Sometimes, we may feel the pressure of these expectations. They may seem too burdensome to carry or fulfill. As a result, we may not be able to fulfill these assumptions. We may fail, or worse, we may snap away from them.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, you might not have met their reasonable expectations.
You Hurt Them
Sometimes our intentions, words, or actions, may irk people. It may also hurt them. For example, we may want somebody’s good but he thinks we are interfering in their lives. Similarly, unintentionally so, we may say or do things that may not go down well with someone. This might make them give us a cold shoulder intentionally.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, you might have hurt them in some way.
Most of the time, it’s nobody’s fault really when somebody ignores you. Complex, unclear, and confusing situations may be the reason.
What kind of situations are these?
You Are Going Through A Lean Patch in Life
When someone goes through a rough patch in life, they want their close ones to be with them. The level of hope & expectations from your loved ones increases in this hour of need. We crave their greater attention. We want them to show concern and help us out. But when this doesn’t happen, we feel disregarded.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, check whether you are going through a lean patch in life.
Increased & Prolonged Distance
When you don’t meet someone regularly, it’s natural to develop a kind of trust deficit. Both people may start feeling that the other person is ignoring them by design. So, even when they meet, the camaraderie just isn’t there. And this lack of warmth takes the form of a deeper mistrust and ignorance that further weakens the bond.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, it may be due to prolonged distance with them.
The ‘Ignorer’ Got Too Busy
Your ignorer may not be ignoring you consciously. He may not be ignoring you at all. It’s just that he has a high amount of work or other responsibilities on his shoulders. Due to it, he could not give you sufficient time and importance. Also, it’s possible that he tried to make it up to you on several occasions but was not able to do so. So, it’s not his fault and he is innocent.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, they may have been too busy.
It’s His Fault
Here, you are correct in saying that they were ignoring you. Neither you nor the situation is wrong in this case. The root of the problem lies in the ignorer.
How is the ignorer at fault?
He is Weak
People may be weak. They may not be able to digest the fact that you have your own thought process, views, and behavior. They want you to act in a way that suits them and pleases them. And when you don’t fall in line with their suppositions, they feel irritated and start ignoring you. Well, it has nothing to do with you, it’s the ignorer who needs to change.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, he may be weak from within.
He is Judgmental
When somebody is trying to mold you their way, it means they are super judgmental. They keep an eye on everything you say or every move you make. And when you ‘falter’, they judge you and label you unreasonable or lame. And when you don’t agree with them, they start ignoring you willfully.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, he is too judgmental.
He is Immature
What is the mature option to resolve the issue if you are unhappy with someone? It’s letting the person know and talking it out with them, right? But many people are not always mature. They like avoiding their issues and troubling themselves and others. So, when the ignorer is miffed with you, he may choose to act immaturely and start ignoring you. Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, he is still immature.
It doesn’t matter who is the offender, when you are shunned purposefully, you have to through some tough times.
Let’s see how being ignored on purpose affects you.
What Are The Repercussions of Being Ignored on Purpose?
When someone ignores you on purpose, you have to go through a lot of mental trauma. It makes your feelings, emotions, and personal life, go haywire.
What do you have to go through exactly?
When someone ignores you on purpose, you start feeling guilty. You think you are the culprit. You feel you have let down people and that you are good for nothing. Also, you tell yourself that maybe you deserve this. All this without any fault of yours. The truth is that you don’t even know the reason why you are being brushed aside in the first place.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, you start feeling guilty.
When guilt subsides, confusion grips you. You keep thinking what wrong did you do. Should you apologize? Or should you go clear the matter with them? You start contemplating your options that could make things right. But when someone ignores you, it increases your doubts without showing you any specific solution to it.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, confusion may start gripping you.
You can’t take it anymore. You want a quick solution to somebody intentionally ignoring you. But you don’t know what to do or where to begin. So, you have a lot of intent but no particular path to come out of the situation. This desperation leaves you miserable, sad, and depressed in self-imposed loneliness.
Hence, when someone ignores you on purpose, you may get desperate to resolve things.
This is how you have to go through a really difficult time when someone ignores you on purpose. But are there any positives as well to take away from the situation?
Well, of course, there are a lot of positives to benefit from.
First of all, it teaches you to stay cool during the issue. You learn to make effort to sort-out differences. Next, you learn to value important people and bonds. You realize the reality about who are the right people in your life. And you learn the art of letting the wrong people go out of your life.
Thus, there are plenty of positives to take when someone ignores you on purpose.
We will see these positives elaborately in the coming paragraphs.
Now, the intensity or the negative impact of somebody intentionally overlooking you also depends on its timing. At what point or phase in life someone ignores you decides how bad you will feel.
Let’s see how timing affects the negative impact of someone omitting you intentionally from their lives.
The Timing of Being Ignored
Someone may ignore you purposely at three points in life. These are difficult, stable, or good times.
Let’s see how being left out knowingly during these phases affects us and what consequences they might have for us.
When Someone Ignores You On Purpose During Difficult Times
When someone ignores you during emotionally, financially, or physically tough times, it hurts the most. It hurts even more when the person who is ignoring you is the one who should have been loving you unconditionally. The bottom line here is that when you are given a cold shoulder while you needed help, you either break from inside or you become a really strong person. To summarise, it pushes you to the make or break point.
When Someone Ignores You On Purpose During ‘Stable’ Times
When someone ignores you while you are in a relatively stable condition, it’s an eye-opener for you. You can afford to be indifferent or withstand the situation quite well. It makes you realize your inner strength. At the same time, it shows you, people, who truly are your well-wishers and who aren’t. And based on it, you can see a clear future and build a life with the people who truly matter.
When Someone Ignores You On Purpose During Good Times
When you are going through the best time of your life, you don’t care who tries to cut you off. You realize that you care enough to keep yourself happy. You are not even disappointed or angry with your ignorer. In short, you are just focused on your happiness and staying that way. You are thankful to yourself for investing in yourself.
We have covered the background in totality. Now, you are in a position to go through, understand, and learn what to do when someone overlooks you wilfully.
So, let’s come straight to the point.
What To Do When Someone Ignores You On Purpose?
You need to set the basics right first. To do this, keep all the options on the table open and keep moving through them one by one. Things may resolve at any stage of this process. But it is also possible that things don’t go all well. So, be prepared before you start with the action plan for when someone ignores you on purpose.
Let’s begin with the first step of the process.
The first step in doing something when someone ignores you willfully is acknowledging or noticing it.
When You Don’t Notice Being Ignored
Well, you may be a free soul who fails to perceive that you are being shunned. If this is so, you won’t be affected by people ignoring you. But although it may give you the feeling of freedom on one hand, on the other, it may make you lose important people in life.
If you don’t want to lose people, you have to develop the sensitivity and perception to notice that you are being bypassed. To do this, you have to be caring enough and stay mentally open & alert. Once you develop the sensitivity, you are ready to go.
Don’t Rush Into Anything
When you notice that you are being set aside intentionally by someone, don’t take it at face value. You don’t need to worry or in haste do anything silly. You, being ignored, is a mere suspicion till now that might not have any relevance or truth to it. In addition, you need to realize that it’s just your perception or notion that might be wrong. So, we need to be sure before we take any kind of action regarding it.
Thus, the first step when someone ignores you on purpose is to acknowledge it.
This brings us to the next step.
Re-Check, Cross-Check, Confirm
How do we confirm that someone is really ignoring us?
How To Recheck?
To do this, you first need to go through your arguments once again and see if there is some substance to them. The questions that you can ask yourself are :
- Are they ignoring you everywhere, i.e physically, in conversations, and digitally?
- Have they been acting weird for a considerably long time now?
- Is the degree of ignorance increasing with passing time?
If all the answers to the above questions indicate that you are willfully being excluded by someone, we have re-checked our arguments.
How To Cross-Check & Confirm?
Next, we need to get out there and cross-check it with common friends or the ignorer’s friends. See if they can tell you something about him that may convert your suspicion to confirmation. Even if they hesitate to tell you something about him, it’s an indication that the ignorer is vexed with you. So, if the ignorer’s friends give you a shred of evidence or indication in favor of your suspicion, you can be confirmed that you are being omitted purposefully.
Thus, the second step when someone ignores you on purpose is to re-check, cross-check, and confirm it.
What do we do upon confirming that someone is voluntarily ignoring us?
Ignore Being Ignored
When you know for sure that somebody is ignoring you on purpose, you need to start acting. The first step in this direction is to ignore being ignored.
How & Why?
It means that you have to act as if you don’t know that someone is sidelining you. This is the simplest but can prove to be the most effective ploy. All you have to do is act very normally without showing any signs of knowing that you are being disregarded. When your ignorer sees this, he would be tempted to come and talk to you about the whole issue himself. And this is check-mate right there! Thus, the third step when someone ignores you on purpose is to ignore being ignored.
You are literally not supposed to do anything in this step and you might get the result you want. What if he doesn’t come to you?
We move on to a stronger weapon, the next step.
When ‘ignoring being ignored’ doesn’t work, you have to start developing indifference. It means to send a message to your ignorer that you know he is ignoring you, but you are cool with it. It’s the perfect attack on his ego. So, what you have to do is to become & stay indifferent and thus exhibit indifference to the whole episode.
Be Genuinely Indifferent
To elaborate further, you don’t have to be sad, worried, or panicky about being left out. What you go through at that time is understandable. But you have to stay one step ahead of it and always above self-pity. When you stay stable and indifferent, you will be able to think clearly and act normally which is very important. It would give you the required inner strength to deal with the situation.
How To Stay Indifferent?
But how do you stay indifferent to conscious neglect towards you by someone? Just keep your options open in your mind concerning the situation. Don’t pay heed to thoughts telling you that “It’s my carelessness”, or “I don’t know what to do now”, or that “I will lose him or her (the ignorer)”. To put it simply, don’t jump to any conclusions and let things unfold the way they are supposed to. It will help you in becoming and staying indifferent.
Importance of Being Indifferent
When you are cool and indifferent on the inside, you can easily play unbothered outside. And this is the move that can do the job for you. It is the seed that you sow to come out of the situation without incurring any loss. It’s because if you show vulnerability & fragility, your ignorer wins. Your weak emotional intelligence would make him the aggressor. But when you play cool, he may be alarmed which might make him ashamed and sorry for what he did to you.
If your ignorer realizes his error and apologizes right here, everything comes back on track for you. But even if he doesn’t, there is nothing to worry about. To keep ignoring you, he has to go through a sea of challenges that he won’t be able to swim across.
Thus, the fourth step when someone ignores you on purpose is to stay indifferent.
We move on to the next step which is to ignore the ignorer.
Ignore The Ignorer
When your indifference doesn’t yield the expected outcome, start ignoring your ignorer, little by little.
Why Ignore Him?
What ignoring him back would do is to turn the tables on your ignorer. Now, you have taken control of what he had started, and you are calling the shots now. By turning the tables on him, you have become the ‘magnet’ and he is the ‘iron’ now. So, when you don’t notice him, he would be confused which will increase the chances of him stopping to do that altogether.
Do Not Overdo It
Ignoring the ignorer may tease him into coming back to you. Remember not to overdo it or not do it all at once. Else, he may get even more annoyed. Ignoring him gradually won’t do any harm as first of all he won’t feel the heat all at once. And secondly, you have given him a genuine opportunity by acting normally earlier, while he was ignoring you. So, he is sure to return the favour, although a little.
If he tries to give you attention after this, either throw additional tantrums for a while or accept him with open arms.
Thus, the fifth step when someone ignores you on purpose is to ignore the ignorer.
If he still doesn’t stop ignoring you, we have the next plan in place.
Approach Him And Check His Response
Ignoring the ignorer may not work in certain conditions. It is possible that the ignorer may want to approach you but isn’t able to do so. His shyness, shame, or ego may be preventing him from doing so.
Wait For The Right Moment
If he doesn’t approach you but you can sense that he has toned down his behavior, there is a window of opportunity for you. Look for the correct moment and approach him. Talk normally and see whether he responds better or just fine. The probability is high that he would start talking to you like before. His ignorance would have melted away.
Remember, the correct moment to approach him is probably when no one is around. It’s because he may not be willing to show his friends that he was the one who “surrendered”. So, approach him when he is alone or poke them on personal digital platforms via chats.
Why This Strategy Works
This strategy works because the ignorer himself may be looking for a way or opportunity to mend his ways. But due to shame or ego, wasn’t able to do this. And when you give him a slight chance, he will most probably grab it with both hands.
Thus, the sixth step when someone ignores you on purpose is to approach him and check his response.
If he still doesn’t give up ignoring you, you need to do something concrete the next time.
If all subtle strategies don’t work, the issue is serious and you need to take it head-on. You need to try everything possible to make it work. Go and talk to the ignorer face to face specifically about the issue.
Control & Direct The Situation
Remember, the conversation may start with discussions, complaints, and heated arguments, but it should come down to clarifications, understanding, and confessions. When this happens, the originality of the relationship would be restored as every grudge clears and gets sorted out.
The important questions that you would need to ask him may be :
- Is there anything wrong?
- Are you okay?
- Are you going through something that you wanna share?
- Is there anything bothering you inside?
- Are we fine?
- How can we make things work?
If the other person is truly important to you, you need to go through this stage before you let him go. You need to be sure that you did everything possible to make things work. And if things still didn’t work out it’s not you but your ignorer who is at fault.
If you have tried everything out to get things on track, you won’t lose anything in the whole process. Not your self-respect, not your confidence, and not your tie-up with the ignorer. Everything would work out just fine.
Thus, the seventh step when someone ignores you on purpose is to confront him.
If things still don’t work, you would still have the strength to do the inevitable.
End The Relationship
When you have tried everything but things still didn’t work, you have no choice but to end the alliance. And it’s not even the slightest of your fault. It’s because it wasn’t you who started the issue, to begin with. Secondly, you tried everything in your capacity to make things work. And thirdly, you were the flexible one who was willing to improve to make the relationship work. So, you can relax!
It’s His Loss And Not Yours
It’s the ignorer who is a rigid personality doomed to lose precious things in life. He is destined to be left lonely and miserable in life. It’s he who doesn’t understand the value of people and relationships in life. If & when he realizes his blunder in the future, he would either apologize to you or would blame himself for his behavior.
So, you don’t have anything to lose in the whole episode when someone consciously ignores you. Taking confidence from this fact, you should go through the whole process of tackling your ignorer. And sooner or later, they will realize their gaffe and mend their immature behavior towards you. Their ignorance would transform into a lifelong affection for you.
Thus, the last step when someone ignores you on purpose is to end the relationship.
When someone ignores you on purpose, it generates one of the worst feelings within you. It may happen any time, anywhere, and by anyone to us. Generally, it happens in budding, about to blossom, or unripe bonds. It’s because there is a possibility of various kinds of misunderstandings between two people who don’t know each other very well.
Irrespective of whose fault it is, both go through a tough time, especially the person being sidelined. And when he is already going through a rough patch in life, being ignored feels like being rubbed with salt to the wound.
The solution is simple, you have to be cool, composed, and smart about it for a greater part of the process. And if things don’t work out, you need to work towards sorting things out like adults. Doing the right things in the right ways and at the right time, helps. Eventually, it ensures that your self-respect stays intact along with your connections. And even if things don’t work out, you come out to be a better, stronger, and more mature person from the whole process.
Digging Deeper Into More Specific Questions
Q. What is the psychology behind ignoring someone? OR When someone ignores you what does it mean?
A. The psychology behind ignoring someone is trying to enforce isolation, manipulation, or domination. Isolation means he is trying to punish someone by boycotting him. Manipulation means he is trying to create doubts in the other person’s mind to make him act according to him. And domination means creating pressure on someone to act in a particular way or manner.
Q. What does it mean when a guy ignores you on purpose?
A. When a guy ignores you, it could mean three things. First, he is trying to play reverse psychology to attract you to him. Second, he is trying to show his importance so that you start valuing him (more). Third, he is trying to get away from you forever.
Q. Is ignoring someone manipulative?
A. One of the intentions behind ignoring someone is to manipulate him or her into doing something. People ignore others to manipulate their thoughts, speech, or actions through doubts, confusion, and pressure. To manipulate someone by ignoring him, the ignorer plants a seed of doubt in the other person’s mind right before starting the process of ignoring him. The ultimate objective of ignoring someone is to turn him into one’s unconditional follower.
Q. Is ignoring someone a form of emotional abuse?
A. Yes. It is a kind of emotional abuse as it leads to emotional stress & torture. But it may or may not be done with this intention. It may be done just to manipulate or put pressure on someone. However, people with a lack of emotional stability or intelligence may find it extremely difficult to cope with it emotionally.
Q. What type of person gives the silent treatment?
A. Silent treatments are the tools of introverts, manipulators, or people who want to dominate others. Introverts feel that silence is the best way to find their way through people as they don’t have any other option. Manipulators give the silent treatment to hack into people’s minds and make them do what they want them to do. Dominators give silent treatment as they can’t stand people who don’t obey them.
Q. Is ignoring someone disrespectful?
A. Yes. It’s because everyone deserves due attention from their close ones and the people who should be giving them attention. But the involved disrespect may not be intentional. It may be the result of a paucity of time or opportunity. But people who ignore others willfully are definitely the ones who also disrespect people in general.
Q. How do you make someone feel guilty for ignoring you? OR How do you make a guy regret ignoring you?
A. Making someone guilty for ignoring you depends on the type of person the ignorer is. If he is a kind-hearted person, show him your vulnerability and that he ignored you when you needed them. For someone who is not kind, show them that they are misusing their power and status to exploit vulnerable people in need of help. And for manipulative ignorers, grow out of their influence and become successful without them to show them that you don’t need them. It will make them feel guilty and small.
Q. What to do when he comes back after ignoring you?
A. If it was his first time, forgive him completely without showing any signs of annoyance. If he has done it a few times, give him a warning telling him that you won’t give him repeated chances. And if he is a repeat offender, ignore him back and end the relationship if he doesn’t mend his ways.
Q. Should I block someone who ignores me?
A. Blocking is not the right solution when someone ignores you. It is a knee-jerk reaction to the situation. You should be the mature and bigger person in the whole episode. Move step by step up the ladder instead of blocking someone online or in life. Discuss the issue if the person is important to you. If he is not that important, move on. It will make you a freer and stronger person.
Q. He ignored me so I blocked him. What do I do now?
A. If you in a panicky mode, blocked him, just chill first. Either unblock him straightaway. Or Go talk to him about how you felt when he ignored you. This is when he matters a lot to you. If he is not that important to you, just unblock him and move on. Why punish yourself when someone else commits immature behaviour? Hence, to keep your mind and options open, unblock him and lead your life like nothing happened.
Q. What hurts more blocking or ignoring?
A. Blocking hurts more than ignoring as it doesn’t even give you the option to contact the other person. It is cutting someone off completely and permanently. People may block you but you should never reciprocate with the same thing. You may ignore them a little, but blocking should never be an option as it makes you a “closed” person which may eventually take you towards loneliness in life.
Q. Should I block him or ignore him?
A. Blocking would not only be punishing him but also yourself. It’s because it shows that his ignoring you, deeply affected you. You will not feel free once you have blocked somebody out of your life. In fact, you will feel trapped. So, the better option is to ignore him and move on, if he doesn’t matter a lot to you. But if he does, don’t ignore him, just go talk to him and clarify things to lead a stress-free and happy life.
Q. My ex kissed me now ignoring me. What Do I do?
A. This may have three possible reasons. First, maybe he was just playing with your emotions and wanted to hurt you. Second, maybe he did not have any intention to do what he did and thus doesn’t know how to react to it or how to talk to you. Third, he/she wants you back but is waiting for your response in relation to the situation or possibility.
Q. Girl says yes to date then ignores me. What do I do?
A. It may have three explanations. First, maybe she said it under pressure or just to be polite without actually meaning it. Second, she may have gotten busy and wasn’t able to inform you because of which she might be feeling guilty now. Third, she wants to see if you really like her and want her. So, you should go talk to her and clear things out so that you may either engage with her or move on.
Q. Guy ignores me after I rejected him. What do I do?
A. He is not completely wrong or unreasonable over here. He may not be ignoring you to take revenge but to avoid feeling insulted. If you care for him or want to remain friends with him, go talk to the guy. Explain the situation. Tell him that you did not mean to hurt or shame him and that you care for him and value the bond with him. And maybe things would get more comfortable and smooth with him as a friend.
Q. Why is he ignoring me after he cheated?
A. There are three possibilities. First, he may be feeling ashamed of himself and doesn’t have the face to talk to you face to face. Second, he might feel confused about how to respond thereon. His mind would have been having lots of mixed thoughts. And third, he may be contemplating the option of breaking up with you and moving on with life beyond you.