How To Make Friends When You Have None: An Introduction
So, you are fed up with having no friends and want to know how to make friends when you have none.
You have come to the right article so first of all just chill and feel at home.
Let me begin by asking you a simple question.
Which relationship of your life do you cherish the most? Is it your bond with your mother, father, or siblings? Well, of course, they are special but they also bring an undue amount of pressure of responsibilities and emotions.
We all need loyal friends who would stand by our side when we need it the most. The best part of having friends is that they reduce your stress and keep your head relaxed. They don’t really expect anything in return from you other than a simple reciprocation.
But making friends isn’t easy. Many people are unable to make friends due to many unfortunate reasons. Since you are reading this, I am assuming you are one of them. Don’t worry! After reading this blog you will feel more than comfortable making new friends. You will not only be ready to make friends but attract them like honeybees to their honey!!
This blog will guide you on how to make friends when you have none. That’s right! We will explore the details from scratch to our ultimate goal of making new friends.
Why You Can’t Make Friends
The first question you would be asking yourself is, “why can’t I make any friends?”
This question is directly related to the bigger question which is how to make friends when you have none.
If you ask this question frequently, you are on the right path. This is the question that will help you learn to make friends.
The answer to this question can be anything. Maybe you don’t feel the need to make friends as you know how to be happy with yourself alone.
It is also possible that due to some bad past experiences you are fearful of making any friends.
Another possibility is that the people you approach may be mean and rude. And it’s not your fault. Remember that!
Or the simplest of all possibilities is that since you never made any friends, you don’t have the necessary confidence & skills to do so.
But we are going to change this fact about you by the time you finish reading this blog.
Is It Normal?
The next thing to ponder upon is, is it normal to have no friends?
The answer is ‘no’. Having no friends is a little surprising but it may also be a sign of the intelligence you possess. Do you think Edison, Lincoln, or other great minds had many friends? It’s not wrong to have friends and it’s not alarming or bad to have none, either.
You, having no friends shows you are capable of surviving alone. It also showcases your mental strength and your capability to enjoy your own company. It shows a promising future to say the least. It’s because people who can survive alone are the people who can go the farthest in life.
We will definitely learn how to make friends but it’s not your weakness but strength that you have none right now.
What To Do When You Don’t Have Friends
Friends spend a fun time together. They go out travelling, watching movies, and playing sports they like. People without any friends have no such lifestyle. So, what to do if you have no friends?
Many people have so much to do with themselves that they do not make any friends. But if you are confused about what to do when you have no friends, there are some important things you should be doing.
The most important thing to do or not do rather is to keep blaming yourself for it. Cursing yourself for the way you are is not going to solve but worsen things for you. You don’t need to be sad about the whole issue.
Being sad would make discovering how to make friends when you have none, even more difficult.
What you need to learn is how to be happy when you have no friends. Only when you can be happy with yourself, can you attract, nurture, and maintain friendships with others. Nobody likes to be friends with people who stay sad & negative about life. So, make it a point to always be cheerful and blissful in your own company.
The next thing you should do when you have no friends is to keep that gate open. Many people get hopeless and stop believing they would ever make friends. They start feeling that maybe they are not made to be friends with anyone.
Until you think something can happen, nothing will ever happen. So, keep life going with the hope of making many loyal friends on the way and you will find many of them.
Next, do not think you will make friends by sitting at home. Not having friends doesn’t mean you won’t go out and have fun yourself. Only when you are happening to others, will they want to be friends with you. So, don’t stop living just because you don’t have any friends right now.
Keep life going full throttle with or without friends and you would make friends having the same cool attitude. It will make your way of exploring how to make friends when you have none, easier.
Now that we have addressed the basic questions, we can move on to the cream of the cake.
How To Make Friends When You Have None
So, how to make friends when you have none?
How To Make Your First Friend
Your first friend is always special and for ever. Do you know why?
One simple reason is that there is nothing like the ‘firsts of life’ which includes friendship. You can never forget your first doll, first toy, first car, first girlfriend or boyfriend, or your first date with them and the first gift they gave you. Can you?
Similarly, when you find your first friend, he or she literally becomes someone next to you in importance and sometimes even more important than that.
For your first friend, you are willing to do anything. You can go to any extent to make his day. When you are having a rough day, making his day seems like putting your day on track.
In short, the bond that you build with your first friend is once in a lifetime relationship.
The Process is Important
Your first friend is the best stop in your journey to find out how to make friends when you have none.
Thus, you need to find your first friend in the right way. It’s also because if your first friendship turns out to be bad, it could ruin all the subsequent ones. And it could shake your trust in friendship itself.
So, what is the right way to find your first friend?
The most important thing is not to be in a rush to find that person. You need to be natural, calm, and patient about it. You should let it happen rather than try to make it happen as the latter increases the chances of choosing the wrong person.
To find your first friend, you need to sense & feel the vibe. If you feel someone has the same interests as you do, it doesn’t mean they will prove to be your best friend. You need to see whether you complement each other or not.
For example, if you love beaches, is he/she ready to visit them with you even if they don’t like beaches? And can you do the same for them? Such complementarity explains understanding and respect for each other’s choices which is very important in a friendship.
When you find a person who is capable of becoming your first friend, do not ask him if he wants to be friends with you. Let the process be natural and unsaid. Sometimes, saying things aloud makes the friendship awkward as it sounds pushy & imposing. So, let things roll organically!
The most beautiful friendships are the ones where friends are there for each other without any call for help from each other. That’s how special your first friend should be!
How To Make More Friends
When you have a good beginning, the journey becomes easier progressively. The strong bond you share with your best friend helps you make many more friends. It will provide impetus to your quest of knowing how to make friends when you have none.
Of course, the quality of the bond won’t be as special but it doesn’t need to be. You can have only one best friend.
Making your first friend would give you loads of confidence and a ‘nothing to lose’ kind of feeling while making other friends. This will help you make many other new friends, some on your own initiative and many others who would approach you.
You would no more feel hesitant while talking to them or including them in your list of friends.
The next friend you make won’t be your last one. You will go on making new friends every day without any qualms whatsoever. Thus, your objective to know how to make friends when you have none would start getting realised.
Did you see how important your first friendship is to all the subsequent ones?
Having said that, there are several challenges while you wait for your first friend’s arrival into your life.
How To Make Friends When You Have None: The Challenges
The biggest one among them is social awkwardness.
So, how to make friends when you are socially awkward?
Social awkwardness mostly means you do not socialise too often. This constricts your social circle and creates a lack of exposure or irregular & inconsistent communication with people.
So, you have a lot of doubts, confusion, and dilemmas in your mind when you meet new people and try to befriend them.
The best way to make friends when you are socially awkward is to eliminate social awkwardness in steps.
The first step would be to start attending social gatherings, parties, and functions more often. You don’t have to be worried or anxious about it. You don’t have to talk to people or ask them to be your friend. Just start attending public gatherings for no particular reason but to chill out.
But how do you make friends when you know no one at these social gatherings? It can get even more awkward when you don’t know anyone at all in a public space. There will also be a question mark on how you will get to attend these parties in the first place.
At this point, you would feel to have hit a complete dead end. Going to a party where you don’t know anyone isn’t helpful when you are trying to figure out how to make friends when you have none. But you have to find a way out!
What you can do is to go to such places with someone from your family so that the onus to talk, behave, and formalise, doesn’t fall on you directly. No one would know you directly and the pressure to communicate with anyone would be negligible.
You can just attend the gathering, observe people, and let them talk to you when you start feeling comfortable about it.
Observing people can help a lot in removing social awkwardness. Watching how they behave, greet, and talk to other people can work as silent lessons for you. And it can eventually remove all the anxiety and social awkwardness.
But if you still don’t feel yourself to be calm, you can let people talk to you and tell you about themselves. You can start talking as and when you start getting comfortable with them.
Attending social gatherings regularly would reduce your social awkwardness gradually. And once it does, you can make as many friends as you want at these parties.
The above piece of advice also tells how to make friends as an introvert. Introverts, generally are quite shy and devoid of friends. They don’t like to share their feelings or talk too much with people, especially about themselves. They also feel too much social awkwardness & hesitancy in opening up to people.
Thus, the above explanation will help you make friends if you are an introverted personality.
Kids absorb things faster and better. And the things they learn during that time stay with them forever. Thus, it’s very important that you learn most of the life skills while you are at school.
Making friends should also be learned while you are at school. If you know how to make friends at school, you will never find it difficult to make friends for the rest of your life.
So, how to make friends when you have none at school?
Well, school can be a scary place for kids. Kids can be mean to each other. Bullying is still a big issue there. Finding and making friends as a teenager isn’t a piece of cake. But the bright side is that if you can make friends at school you can master the art of making friends elsewhere.
In your school, if you don’t have any friends at all, you need to look for like-minded people. At that age, like-minded people bond like magnets. Moreover, since you can spend a lot of time together in the school itself, the chances & opportunities of a deep friendship are quite high.
Form your own group with your like-minded friends, study in groups, help each other out in solving problems, spend time at the canteen or the playground having fun, take part in extra-curricular activities, and go out on travelling expeditions. All this would deepen your friendships with the people you like at school.
But if you couldn’t make friends as a teenager due to some reason, still all is not lost. You will still get many opportunities to make your first friend, as an adult. Particularly, people of age 25 and around, find it difficult to make friends, if they haven’t made any till that point in life.
So, let’s find out how to make friends at 25.
When you are an adult of about 25 years of age, your best chance to make friends is either finding friends at your workplace or in your neighbourhood.
You can also probably join a sports club where you can find people of your own age. If you don’t like to play, you can join other types of hobby clubs. Places like these clubs can give you an added option to make friends as an adult.
In these places, you would find almost everybody with similar interests & challenges in life. It’s okay if you feel shy to make the first move. Someone would most definitely approach you and your friendship with them can kickstart thereon.
The only concern is that as an adult, workload & responsibilities in life keep rising continuously which can make you stressed. Remember, stress should not prevent you from trying to make friends. It should make you look to make new friends so that you can share your feelings & issues with them.
Going forward in life, another issue that may start appearing is how to make friends when you are older than them. The main challenge here is that as we grow up the generation gap seems to be coming into play more and more.
There is an easy and simple solution to not letting the generation gap prevent you from making friends. To make someone your friend who happens to be younger than you, stay updated with the present generation and their ways. Do not be stuck in your own opinions & ways and be flexible in your thinking, opinions, and approach towards life in general.
For example, be ready to adopt the latest technology and chat with them online. This will also teach you how to make friends when you have none, online. Making friends is a lot easier online than it is face-to-face. Digital platforms like Facebook are probably the best place to make friends if you haven’t had any friends till now. It’s quick and safe!
Chatting online also gives you the extra time to think about what to say to someone. The crux here is that be acquainted with modern technologies and you will automatically learn how to make friends online.
Another thing is that do not try to boss younger people just because you are older than them. Act as equals and be frank with them.
Your variety that came with age & experience would surely make you click with the youth. Young people normally don’t get to meet cool elders whom they can befriend. If you provide them with that luxury, they would want to be friends with you.
Learning how to make friends when you have none is not an impossible thing to do. You can make anyone your friend anywhere anytime. And this should reflect in your attitude and behaviour.
Remember, the one and the only rule for making new friends is to gel with them. If you are open, caring, and determined enough, you can start making great friends at any age and in every situation! Good luck!!